Breenan Warriors and the Kia Cultus Wei

“In the apothecary, the Breenan Warriors who were guardians of the Kia Cultus Wei, were meant for better things. Those who have knelt at the duel alter(s) of the forbidden path. They who are monsters deprived of human souls. They are the Endless, the Night-Giving, those who have walked too deeply with the shadows.” This stuff means nothing, the drunken, drug-induced ramblings of a madman on the edge, peering into the abyss of nothingness. I am at a cross roads; a pattern in my life (but really in all our lives), if you look at it the right way. I am at one of these points in my life that will determine the next phase I go into. It’s fucking scary! It is maddening, and horrifying! Mainly because I have backed myself into a corner and my mind is tearing itself apart.

“I would have liked you better if you were as cool as you looked.” I feel like people say that when they look at me. But the fact is I would have liked them better if they were as cool as they thought they were. There are a lot of things wrong with me. I am not the best looking guy in the world. My body isn’t in the best shape and my mind is completely gone. But I treat it like it’s not all the while giving you a nod and wink that I know what I look like and what my life looks like and I know that it isn’t pretty. I don’t have anything together and I am struggling just the same as each and every other person. But, if you don’t catch it, if you don’t get the nod and wink then you are missing out you are missing the point. It isn’t that the act isn’t recognized. It’s like pro wrestling It’s like I am a wrestler acting like I really hate this guy but we’re friends in real life and if you buy the story then it’s because you want to you want to believe. We all know it’s just a play being preformed. I mean you don’t go see a movie and complain that it wasn’t real. I guess there are those people out there who do. They claim reality as their own and refuse to see that we live in a shared hive reality that there are certain things we agree on and certain things we do not. It’s okay. See behind the curtain, there are comfy couches there, you can lay on them if you want. The Wizard is long dead and everything is fine.

Perspective I guess is what it all boils down to. A viewpoint not a vantage point as some would have you believe. The only grand secret to the universe is that there is no secret. It is all laid bare in the machinations of the universe. As above so below and all that jazz, we’re all trying to figure out how to live and maintain and be happy with ourselves and those around us. And that happiness is different to all of us. To me I am happiest when I have all the little things I like and still get to have fun occasionally with my pals. I like having a warm bed to sleep in and a warm body to sleep with. It’s no big deal. I have made mistakes along the way that will haunt me until I die, but I’ve never killed anyone or done something so horrible I couldn’t sleep at night. Then again my definition of what’s horrible and what’s acceptable is a little different than most people. I move in a circle of darker shadows, I fall under the banner of not nice a lot. I have even been called a monster on several occasions and I pride myself on that. Not in some cheap way that says I want to be hip, I want to be cool, but to say that I have done things most people find appalling as a way of spending an evening.

As I write this I am sitting in Atlanta, GA tripping face. I have just spent the entire evening drinking and ingesting drugs. I am listening to Nick Cave howling in my ear drum and its making me go-off on this tangent. Earlier this evening, at work, I orchestrated the initiation of a young man into the GoonWei. Dunking his head into a toilet filled with urine and used feminine hygiene products. Even writing it down seems like blasphemy to the sacred order which has no name. Blood and urine are sacred oracles and offering from various practices. The ancients ride in the bones tonight and every night. Dressed in robes of crypto-fascism, we luddites and necro-junkies field the air with questions. The universe gives key to the flightless bird and all that hoopla that goes along with it. You can see what kind of position I’m in. Soon I’ll have to turn over the keys, and write under a different voice.

Tripset Playlist:

If 6 was 9-The Jimi Hendrix Experience

Shambala-The Beastie Boys

Bodhisattva Vow-The Beastie Boys

Transitions-The Beastie Boys

Nobody’s Fault But My Own-Beck

Expectations-Belle and Sebastian

Missing the War-Bens Fold Five

King Ink-Birthday Party

Dark Skies Above-Bison

Earthbound-Bison

It’s Oh So Quiet-Bjork

I’ve Seen It All-Bjork

Call to Arms-The Black Angels

Goodbye Babylon-The Black Keys

Talkin Blues-Bob Marley & the Wailers

My Philosophy-Boogie Down Productions

Wake-Up [Reprise in the Sunshine]-Brand Nubian

Eye of Fatima, Pt. 1-Camper Van Beethoven

Eye of Fatima, Pt. 2-Camper Van Beethoven

Peace Behind The Bridge-Carolina Chocolate Drops

You Don’t Shock Me Anymore-Cee Lo Green

Under tha Influence (Follow Me)-Cee Lo

On the Run-Cerebral Ballzy

The Field-Cool Breeze

Escapism (Getting Free)-Digable Planets

You Got To Hold On-The Flaming Lips

Unconsciously Screamin’-The Flaming Lips

Selfish Man-Flogging Molly

We All Try-Frank Ocean

If I Were a Carpenter-Free Design

Floating Boy-Fugazi

Promises-Fugazi

Brainstorm-Hawkwind

Warriors-Hawkwind

Grandest Canyon-Heideker & Wood

Gardenhead-Jeff Mangum

How Many More Times-Led Zeppelin

What Is and What Should Never Be-Led Zeppelin

Ain’t No Cure for Love-Leonard Cohen

The Book of Love-Magnetic Fields

I Think I Need a New Heart-Magnetic Fields

This Year-The Mountain Goats

Levitate Me-Pixies

I Believe What You Said-Psychic TV

Saviour Machine-David Bowie

Everyone’s Gone to the Moon-Nina Simone

13th Floor/Growing Old-Outkast

We Are Underused-Pavement

 

[Editors note] I wrote this the other night while tripping on mushrooms for the continuation of this click here.

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