We are back bitches! And none to soon from the looks of it! We’ve had some trouble with our machines here in the trees and being Monkees we weren’t to adept in fixing them. So long story short we paid a human to fix them and now we’re back! So suck it if you’d thought you’d seen the last of us!
Well alot has happened since we’ve been gone. Congress woman shot, riots in Egypt, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, dead birds falling from the sky, and Mother Nature destroying Austraila! Truly looking like some End Times shit on old Planet Earth! And that’s what we like to see! Revolution, Chaos, destruction, and the senseless violence! A Monkees paradise on the way! Those fucking Mayan’s better not let us down on this one!
First on deck is something we heard about from Attack of the Show-yes we still watch it without Olivia-and that’s Meat-Eating Furniture! We couldn’t believe or little Monkee ears when we heard about a fly eating clock and a rat decapitating coffee table! The designers James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau gave a light-heart-ed interview over on NPR comparing their monster furniture to nature shows and “the theater of life”, but we all know this is just the begining to flesh eating machines! Powered by microbial fuel cells that will stalk the planet consuming people for energy like something straight out of the Matrix!
Microbial fuel cells converts chemical energy, found in bio-convertible substrates, into electricity. The insane idea of using microbial cells in an attempt to produce electricity was first conceived at the turn of the nineteenth century by a professor of botany at the University of Durham named M. C. Potter in 1911. Potter was the first to perform work on the subject managing to generate electricity from E. coli. An MFC consists of an anode, a cathode, a proton or cation exchange membrane and an electrical circuit. Fuel is then oxidized by microorganisms in the anode compartment, generating electrons and protons. The electrons are then transferred to the cathode compartment through an external electric circuit. While the protons are then transferred to the cathode compartment through the mechanical membrane. Electrons and protons are consumed in the cathode compartment, combining with oxygen to form water.
Now what does all this mean? Well these seemingly harmless advances are starting out eating flies and mice, but soon and very soon once Skynet becomes self aware these machines will need more power and they will be looking at you sitting there getting fat and lazy because you’ve left it up to your clock to swat those flies that are buzzing around you rat filled apartment! Because seriously if you can afford some flesh eating furniture of course you live in a place infested with rodents and flies! See this little furniture unveiling is just a ruse to get everyone used to the idea that machines need living things to survive. I not trying to pull some Glenn Beck fear-mongering “The Muslims Gonna Git Us“, bull-crap. This-is-real! The machines will rise up and consume all humans, no matter their race, religion, or sexual orientation!