Hollywoods Continous Raping of My Childhood

So the A-Team tanked (well it came in second place, but by Hollywood standards it tanked because it didn’t make half of what it cost), I have to say I’m pretty happy about that! They should have never tried to make a movie out of it. Rampage Jackson is no Mr.T! I would love to say that the failing of A-Team will lead to an end to Hollywood raping my childhood and taking icons of the 80s and completely fucking them up, but no it won’t, because A-Team was beaten out by the fucking Karate Kid! Another raping of my childhood! As if this new piece of shit could even be called the Karate Kid! Will Smiths brat doesn’t even learn Karate-he learns Kung-Fu! From Jackie-Fucking-Chan!!! No less! What Karate wasn’t good enough for the Fresh Prince’s kid? It was good enough for Ralph Macchio! Despite the ringing endorsement from my little sister (who isn’t old enough to remember the original) I can’t believe this Disney homogenized garbage raked in $56,000,000! So of course they’re already talking sequel and everything I loved as a child will be pillaged and plundered! From the cheesy Saturday morning fare like Clash of the Titans, to I know remakes are nothing new, how many times have they remade King Kong now? But I don’t recall my mother or grandmother complaining that The Last Starfighter was ripping off anything from their childhood! And did we really need a new Nightmare on Elm St.? I mean re-making shitty horror movies from the is one thing. Honestly how many people had actually seen The Hills Have Eyes the first time around, but when they started taking apart shit that I cared about that’s when I started to get pissed. It took me forever to get around to watching BSG, and I was only sorta into it when I was a kid (I had the bed sheets), we applauded them for that and then they ruined The Bionic Woman, Knight Rider(with Val Kilmer as the voice of KITT), and most recently V (although the alien chick on their is kinda hot). They have plans to ruin Alien Nation, but those are just the small screen disasters, since the BSG reboot the big screen has went on to trash everything from Bewitched, to G.I. Joe, and don’t even get me started on Transformers! They can’t write anything new and studio executives are so chicken shit they won’t even attempt to make a movie that doesn’t already come with a “built-in audience”. That’s the bottom line they continue to churn out crap like A-Team and Karate Kid, because they figure they already bought it once, they’ll buy it again! And so far they’ve been right. Recycling has extended into all aspects of our culture. I’m sure there are writers in Hollywood with original ideas, but they will never get they’re projects green lit because they don’t come with a ready made fan-base. That’s why comic book movies are all the rage, they come with a set of rabid geeks with disposable income. Some of them are worth it. The Iron-Man franchise is brilliant I’ve loved each installment, and I can’t wait for the next one. But what I’m not looking forward to is The Voltron movie or the live action Yogi-Bear coming up starring Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake, nor am excited about the upcoming (also live-action) Smurfs starring Hank Azaria of Simpsons fame and Niel Patrick Harris (C’mon Doogie you’re supposed to be smarter than this)
Now playing: Clarence Carter – Poke Salad Annie
via FoxyTunes

One thought on “Hollywoods Continous Raping of My Childhood

  1. I couldn’t have said this better myself, I will eventually see the A-Team, but like GI JOE and Transformers 2 ( I did like the first) I know I’m going to be let down. You don’t replace Mr. T, it’s just not possible.

    I hear Hollywood will be remaking Forrest Gump next year to celebrate the 15th anniversary of the film. It’s all bullshit.

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