Monkee Hitman arrives!

Kendrapara (Orissa), Jan 15 (PTI) A rogue Monkee injured 50 people and forced residents to stay indoor in a thickly populated village in the Kendrapara district. Biting the villagers at will since the morning the male Monkee has laid siege on Tikhiri village located in the vicinity of Paradip, officials sources said. “We have been literally held hostage by the rowdy animal. We are helpless. Neither the administration nor the forest department has heeded to our request for help,” villagers complained. Villagers are moving in groups wielding lathis in their hands to protect themselves.

SINGAPORE – The number of complaints about Monkees has gone up significantly, averaging about 250 yearly in 2007 to 611 last year.

Through out India and Asia Monkees are rising up and taking over villages and farms, parks and even schools. The Armada grows stronger and more fearsome with each news story that is spread. Scientist are trying to decipher ouer language and study our mannerisms for clues. The age of the Monkee returns (blessed be to Hanuman and Sun Wu Kong), and now American pop culture is taking note. In February Marvel Comics debuts their greatest character since The Incredible Hulk; Hitman Monkee!

Hitman Monkee

Hitman Monkee is a soulful, tortured, jazz-loving 30-pound engine of destruction,” explains Executive Editor Axel Alonso. “Think Chow Yun Fat from ‘The Killer’ as a Monkee. To be specific, a Japanese Macaque.” what started as a joke when Alonso saw this photo of a Monkee apparently drowning a man. that had been captioned “Hitman Monkey finds no joy in his job.” Says Alonso, “It cracked the fuck out of me. I just thought it was the funniest thing I’d ever seen. And I thought, you know, that it would  make a great comic book!” The one thing  the comic book industry is sorely lacking these days is  Monkees with guns. Answering the call is a highly-trained Japanese macaque assassin who would give the Punisher a run for his money sporting a snazzy suit and red tie. “Let’s be clear: Hitman Monkee is the harrowing tale of a Macaque from the mountains of Japan who, through fate and circumstance, is transformed into the world’s deadliest assassin,” Alonso continues. He’ll battle with Marvels merc with a mouth Deadpool in issue #19 in February, but  fans can check out an exclusive origin, uh, tale  on Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited from writer Daniel Way and artist Dalibor Talijic with a cover by Superstar Artist Frank Cho. (Part two arrives online in January.) Deadpool scribe Way enthusiastically agreed and ran with it, helping create a unique new Marvel Universe character and compelling antagonist for the mercenary. Way describes Hitman Monkey as a “killer of killers”. He says that , “The legend lives and grows inside this gun-for-hire community. Part of the problem in the Deadpool arc, where Hitman Monkey shows up, is that no one else believes him, that there’s this, you know, homicidal monkey out there!” Once Hitman Monkee does make his way into the pages of the Merc With a Mouth’s own book, Alonso promises that both Deadpool and Spiderman will never know what hit ’em. Hitman Monkee is a skilled martial artist and crack shot, plus he’s got mad hops.  Looking towards the future, Alonso also expects big things from Hitman Monkey in the coming year!

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