I will start by saying that I have been interested in the Cuckold fetish for some time. The Millers Tale from Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales is a humorous look at a Cuckhold’s life, but cuckolding as a fetish has been around for some time, at least since the time of the writer for whom the term masochism was coined-Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. Sacher-Masoch’s wife, Aurora Rümelin, recounted in her memoirs multiple instances of Sacher-Masoch asking her, begging her and even threatening her to make her Cuckold him just so he could experience the pain and humiliation of the act. While she indulged her husband in many of his masochistic requests, she refused to Cuckold him. Her refusal was one of the causes of their separation, and her subsequent descent into poverty. By definition, a Cuckold is; a married man whose wife cheats on him behind his back. Someone who is a Cuckold fetishist (we’ll just say Cuck from here on), not only knows about his wife’s infidelity, but sometimes enjoys the humiliation of watching. The female is the dominant in this subculture, and she takes on additional partners, and the male takes on a submissive role where he is monogamous to her, or only becoming involved sexually when she allows, occasionally remaining celibate altogether. A wife who enjoys Cuckoldry can be referred to as a hot wife or Cucktress. The desire for the male to enjoy being Cucked is often more about his non-sexual gratification, and more about one’s personal ideals. Sometimes this is part of a sexual fantasy, or because the Cuck gains arousal through being humiliated. At times a Cuck finds pleasure vicariously through his partner. The contrast between a cuckold and the additional male participant is sometimes used to summarize an individual’s personality or behavior and the variability commonly seen in male libidos: the Cuckold or beta-male suggesting a lack of masculinity or alpha-male representing his missing masculinity. This can be represented in the size of the participant’s penis, or the color of his skin, or both. The hot wife and extramarital participant (known as The Bull) may both enjoy actively including him in the act of Cuckolding through watching as closely as possible, filming, or even servicing her. Some common themes include praising her appearance, attempting to stimulate her sexually at the same time as The Bull, and of course cleaning her genitalia after the act, which can include eating The Bulls semen from inside the Cucktress. Generally a Cuck is simply expected to be engrossed in her enjoyment. It is common for the male to be more absorbed with the female’s pleasure than his own.
For some the desire to have an unfaithful wife is unthinkable, it’s what makes Cucking different from other fetishes that are often connected to an object, as this is entirely psychological. It’s the psychology that makes a Cuck and not the act itself. Wanting to see your wife having sex with another man just because you like to watch makes you a voyeur, not a Cuck. It is different from being a swinger where both partners experience physical pleasure. No, a true Cuck finds pleasure in the humiliation of the act; they want a real alpha-male to uses their wife, giving it to better than they ever could. They enjoy being chided and degraded throughout the process, whether it is because of their inadequacies, or for the sheer thrill of being emasculated. I found posted on a forum an interesting list describing what makes a Cuck a Cuck. Now this is nothing solid just the opinion or observation of one individual.
Of the infinite variety of persons involved in the cuckold lifestyle, I think perhaps there is a subset of males who share certain characteristics that may render them more inclined than average to become a cuckold. These include, in no particular order and of varied intensity the following:
1) He has an innate respect for women, and believes in her rights, with a strong and perhaps even exaggerated sense of romantic chivalry.
2) He is naturally drawn to women with a stronger, more assertive sex drive than his own.
3) He has a real desire to please his woman, and is concerned with her feelings and needs, and is emotionally strong enough to accept her preference in sexual partners.
4) He has a high degree of performance anxiety in direct proportion to his level of attraction to the woman; the stronger his attraction, the more submissive he becomes.
5) He has likely eroticized humiliation through prior bouts of impotence, easily induced by the assertive and purposeful woman.
6) He is not sexually passive, but often has a high drive himself, although a submissive drive, and craves female domination and initiation.
7) He often experiences a degree of relief when her needs are satisfied by a bull, and his own sexuality emerges as he is free from the need to perform, and.
8) He is often bisexual, even if on an unconscious and unacknowledged level, and is highly excited as his love in mounted by a bull.
9) He is often very oral by nature, and easily included in threesomes with a bull, and disappointed if he is not.
10) He will usually do the housework and over chores as he is in a perpetual state of courtship during which he does not take his cougar for granted.
11) He is generally easily placed in panties, and then the Pandora’s Box is opened.
12) He is generally of average to small stature and appendage.
13) He absolutely adores his woman.[i]
The question also arises then, what makes a Cucktress, and better still what makes a Bull. It takes a minimum of three to tango in this fetish. Though a hot wife can and often participates in group sex with several men. What makes a woman desire to humiliate and degrade a man that she cares for enough to wed? What makes a man accept that the woman he is having sex with has a husband that is often present during the act? There are a few cuckold couples who participate in what is known as breeding, where The Bull is encouraged to impregnate the hot wife by the Cuck. There are perfectly happy cuckold situations where the wife, husband, and her lover all coexist in the same home. It is interesting to me that this lifestyle remains on the fringes of excepted fetishes. It is often frowned upon even in normally open minded fetish circles. Is it because we have been conditioned to find certain wrongness in infidelity even if it is accepted by all parties involved, or is it the humiliation aspect of cucking? We as a society are taught that marriage vows are something sacred to be held with regard over one’s own personal gratification. This way of thinking has led to many bad marriages and broken homes. Not to mention the generations that has been psychologically scarred by unhappy parents. With the swing lifestyle being more and more accepted by mainstream society (mainly due to their increased numbers), and the growing scandals involving unfaithful politicians, it is no wonder that the amount of Cuck porn is exploding across the internet. I have found it difficult however to find solid information on the psychology behind the phenomenon. There is no shortage of videos, and fantasy tales, blogs and forums where Cucks, Bulls, and Hot Wives and meet to arrange situations. There seems to be little in the way of examination on the fetish. I will continue my research into the lifestyle.
[i] The Natural born cuck
posted on Cuckold Connection Tribe.net