So I made it safely back to the East Coast, although it saddens me to have left the sunny Bay Area I am somewhat comforted to be back on familiar ground. Back home with my friends and family. So much has changed and so little at the same time. It’s been nine years since I lived here and even longer since I was an actual functioning human being here. I spent my last few years in North Carolina a drunken, destructive mess, and I have spent this first week back being constantly reminded of that fact. I have been compared to everything from a legend to a fucking boogie man. Apparently after I left the stories of my drug and alcohol fueled exploits grew into the tallest tales in the land. In many ways it’s flattering, in others its depressing. I had a girl at the bar on one of my first nights back tell me that she remembered one night where I fought an entire club full of Straight-Edge kids and smashed this kids head open with a skate board. Then she added that she was but twelve-years old at the time and it was her first show. I went from smug satisfaction to feeling like a relic in minutes (possibly even seconds). I have had some nice conversations with my family and hopefully I will began to reconnect with my sisters, but all in all I wish I was back in cali. I tell everyone it’s because I miss the weather, and I complain about the humidity here, but truth be told I was born here the heat doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that the woman I love is out there in San Fran doing God knows what and even though I’m completely on the other side of the country (and most likely will never see her again) it still hurts. I would love to bury my pain between the thighs of some young southern belle, but I’m too old and fat for any of that. Not to mention I haven’t gotten a job yet or any money. Things have changed but much remains the same. for one I’m still sitting here alone blogging about my state in life.