Pop culture has changed because my dick was once in a box

Yeah I know long title, I just wanted you to know what you were getting yourself into before you read any further. Now I don’t normally write blogs about pop culture or whats going on in the mainstream entertainment machine. I figure that there is enough of that to go around on the internet and television so you don’t need my two cents. But After watching the MTV Movie Awards for the first time in years (BTW), I felt I had to say something. I only tuned in because Andy Samberg is hilarious and his Lonely Island CD is like my new favorite shit and I listen to it everyday at least twice! That being said I couldn’t believe what the fuck I saw. I was expecting the lame jokes and not knowing who half the current crop of actors pretending to be teenagers were. What I was not expecting was to see Sacha Cohen sixty-nining Eminem or Forrest Whitaker singing “Dick In A Box” like it was night at the fucking Oscars. Those two moments made the show. Kiefer Sutherland’s fake crying was alright but I hate him so much I couldn’t bring myself to laugh. But what could you expect he was presenting a “Generation” Award to that hack Ben Stiller. Which I guess is something like a “Lifetime Achievement award if your life span started in 1990. That moment was made even sadder by the presence of the once great Triumph the Insult Comic dog whose talents were further wasted since he left Conan. They had some douchey looking kid who’s entire body of work I have never seen in anything other than three seconds of commercials that I quickly turn from. By the end of the show I was so pissed at the cast from that fucking shit vampire movie Twilight, that I couldn’t even enjoy Will Ferrell and Danny McBride kicking cats off stage. There bit was ruined by Jim Carey a man so horrible that he actually makes Ben Stiller look funny. What really pissed me off about these ball-licking assholes from Twilight is how none of them seemed terribly interested in being there or excepting the awards. Although they won nearly every one. Due mainly to the fact that the awards (if you can call them that) were voted on by fans online. Not hard to dominate when you think of how many stupid little girls sitting in the Mid West flooding the ballot box. I was certain after the third time they came up that they were acting of course, but it became annoying. I hope they realize that the longevity of their fame depends on how long they can milk this particular cash cow. They’re youthful looks will fade and they will be nothing more than characters to the teenagers who adore them now. Once those little girls reach college their Twilight loving days will be behind them.

Aside from overdosing on pop culture over on MTV, I had quite an eventful night actually watching TV. Normally I only watch Adult Swim, WWE, and MSNBC. Occasionally I watch Gangland on the History Channel, the Soup on E, and Mad Men on A&E. While Mad Men is away I have become fond of Breaking Bad starring the Dad from Malcom in the Middle. Tonight was not only the Breaking Bad Season finale (which blew me away), but also the premier of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force special “live action” episode starring T-Pain. Which was a lot for me too watch. I’m actually re-watching Breaking Bad right now to catch the parts I missed as I flipped back and forth. And before you even think it-yes I have a DVR! I recorded Aqua Teen but I will still watch the replay at 3:30 (my time). I am a bit overwhelmed right now but I wanted to get some of my thoughts out about what I just witnessed. And yes-I know I need a life!

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Now playing: The Lonely Island – Dick In A Box (feat. Justin Timberlake)
via FoxyTunes

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