*This is the intro to my Autobiography I just needed to jot it down before I forgot!
In the beginning (well I can’t tell you about that, I’ll save it for another book), and after that some crazy shit happened and the remnants of that sent debris across the universe as it was, expanding it making it grow. God opened its eye, which was everything. As things settled, the debris began to take shape and form galaxies inside of the universe. Inside the galaxies formed solar systems, inside them formed planets on these planets formed life as we define it. Sentient creatures took shape from atoms, to amoebas, to animals, (fish, birds, reptiles) Ad God opened his other eye, which was also everything and said that it was good. The world was one rock among many, but it was growing as it traveled round the sun, which was traveling around the solar system, that was traveling around the galaxy, which traveled around the universe. This was all within God.
As life on earth evolved so did life elsewhere. Planets further from the sun were older (all planets were spit from the sun) so life great and evolved sooner. Meaning life also burnt itself out faster; civilizations rose, fell, and species became extinct before humankind was even born. It was actually of the furthest planet from the sun where man first took shape. With the destruction of each civilization came an exodus from planet to planet, each time slightly different, slightly changed. When Earths neighbor Mars had exhausted its resources and on the verge of extinction it sent immigrants to the next fertile planet-Earth.
The Martians arrived at a time when great beast and lizards the size of mountains roamed the young rock. They used their great advanced weapons to rain down fire and wipe out the beast. Sending the few that lived into hiding, they would later emerge as dragons and monsters of the sea. They then began their colony. Which was soon to be short lived. To preserve their species they fused their genetic structure to the primates that were evolving into Cro-Mags, these creatures known as the Neanderthals. The hybrids however attracted the attention of another far away civilization that too sought refuge from its own self-destruction.
The other neighbor of Earth, Venus (who’s people had been the product of a miscalculation) Venusians ancestors had intended to land on Earth, but instead found themselves on a unstable planet, mated with unstable life forms and destroyed themselves due to said instability. Do to their volatile emotional state the creatures became jealous of the Martian colony on earth and sought their destruction. They created a weapon that reigned terror down on Earth. Causing massive shifts in the Earth’s plates destroying one Martian city, called Atlantis. Barely able to escape the surviving Martians found their numbers dwindling and hoped for a continuation of their pure bloodline dissolved. The few among them who desired a purely Martian way moved to the Far East, to the Himalayas and formed a city suspended in time. The city was known by many names, most notably Shang-Ri-La. Outside the walls of Shang-Ri-La, other Martians mated with the Neanderthal ape-men to form what we now know as mankind. They also found themselves confronted with the last dying Venusians race who had taken to mating with the ape-men as well. The Venusians offspring was what we know today as the female, the Female Venusians and the Martian Males breed and evolved into the people of today.
Due to genetic tinkering of the Martian and Venusians colonist, their offspring discovered that they could not reproduce without each other. Thus the myth “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” was born. So the story goes, that the original colonist (who were seen as gods by their experiments), eventually died out, leaving the planet to their hybrid creations. Lost without their creators, man’s primitive mind invented many legends, fables, and religions to explain their alien benefactors. The Martians and Venusians over time became synonymous with angels and demons, or fairies and elves. Their advanced technology gave them the appearance of magical powers. This is why the Hindu people saw their Gods and Goddesses fly on magic carpets and fight in the sky. Much is to be told of the early eons of life on Earth, but that too is for another book.
Now during all this there were other animals evolving alongside the primates, and Cro-Mags, and Neanderthals. Other creatures also affected by the tampering of the Martian and Venusians scientist. They were the original inhabitants of the God’s Green Earth: the animals. As these animals evolved some would assert dominance, some grew sentience and fought often to thwart the alien manipulation of the world. They ultimately failed to free the world of its alien colonist, due mainly to millennia’s of infighting. The factions within the animal community were at first the big cats. Monstrous in size after the great ice age they went unchallenged for generations. Until emerged the ferocious bear. Throughout the Northern Hemisphere, those known as the Grizzly Bears, though most are not in fact Grizzlies. The descendants of the big cats are known as Pumas in the west and Lions in the East. It was these beasts, who have always carried death for humans in their jaws. Even as human technology advanced, they remained capable of not merely survival, but the ability to kill any human without warning. That was until two other creatures undermined their balance of power, each vying for power in the animal kingdom; The Chicken and The Shrimp. The two small creatures’ war was not just with the Grizzly Bears or the Pumas, but also with each other. The great Shrimp and Chicken War is one of the many secret legends of the world. Their war can be seen today, in the form of advertisements (Eat More Chicken), and animal plagues (Bird Flu). They rage war in many forms across the globe, each side using other animals and even humans to battle for dominion over the planet.
A few resist the pull to open warfare. Polar Bears (once mighty warriors, now peaceful sages), Penguins (a friend to Polar Bears, but generally solitary), Squirrels, Deer (though Deer’s are notoriously sluttish and untruthful), yet chief among the rebel animals are the dreaded Monkees. Animals with no allies, no ties, not even to each other, they are rouge, loners, united only in their struggle against everything. They are humankind’s only hope, for they seek no dominion over anything. They seek only complete freedom and the occasional poo flinging.
It was toward the end of mankind’s twentieth century, when the Monkees launched their greatest salvo; ME! I was born on October 18, 1977. The month Johnny Rotten graced the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, two weeks after Elvis “The King” Presley died on his toilet at Grace land. It was the year that Punk broke, and the year when the lights went out in New York and a dog told a man to kill. The Spirit of ’77 was a time bomb, an ancient entity from long ago, given a new name and in my frail human form a new face. I was to be the last hope of a world in the throes of Chaos, a herald for an age to come; a time without leaders, where humans, Martians, hybrids, of-shoots, and animals alike would live in harmony with the universe, to live and not become extinct.
In addition, if you bought that I got a bridge for sale (HA!) …
I was indeed born on October 18th, 1977 the same day as Andreas Bernd Baader died in his cell in Germany. Amidst all the hub-bub of the Spirit of ’77 Janice Lorraine West gave me breathe. My father John Cedric Scott, son of Slim and Mike refused to raise me. Instead I was raised by my mother’s, mother Kaye Francis West. she was my matriarch and my greatest friend, everything I needed to know I learned first from her. This book, as my life is done in her honor first, and foremost. Before the Gods, and Monkees alike, the lord looked upon it and saw that it was good.