The Great Shrimp And chicken War of ’87 pt.1

The Great Shrimp and Chicken War of ’87

           Sometime after the destruction of Atlantis, the animals began to plot their return to power. They were immediately plagued with internal power struggles. Saber-toothed Tigers, Wholly Mammoths and Sasquatches (an off shoot Martian Hybrid) assumed control at first. They dominated the period known as the Ice Age. But when things warmed up the Venusian Woe-men and the Martians Men asserted them. The dissidents of Saber-tooth’s/Lions, and in the Western Hemisphere the Puma, took control. They made themselves Gods and Icons to early Hue-mans, helped partially by a Venusian joke. A group of Venusian Scientist called Egyptians made a beast called the Sphinx to attack a colony of Martians called Babylonians. The Sphinx however was intelligent and large enough to demand its own worship. Though, the Sphinx was the only one of its kind, so it became extinct. Just shortly before, the Egyptians completed a statue in the desert to honor the great beast.

        Other great Martian and Venusian experiments in South America and India demanded worship which directly fell upon the big cats once they died out. Mayans worshipped the black Pumas known as Panthers, Egyptians and their Desert neighbors followed and feared the Lion. While the remaining pure breed of cat-dogs they called Foo Dogs. But as the Foo-Dogs began dying out they became more or less pets. The Chinese had other things to fear. Like the beast known as dragons. They were the descendants of Dinosaurs who fed off Foo-Dogs. When their food became extinct slowly then did the Chinese Dragons.

Oddly though in India animals evolved differently. It is the only place in the world where cows (notoriously stupid animals) took power. Some blamed the apathetic Tigers others blamed the ancient worm lizards that had no legs or arms. Though, the cow worship has created a nation of underfed, hallucinating, Martian worshippers. India is still one of the weakest of all human nations. Cows would have risen to power elsewhere had it not been for the efforts of the animal commonly called ‘yard bird”. The chicken, one of the most deadly animals known to man said to be so vicious they can live for hours without their head, allowing them time to fight ferociously for hours more. Their rise to power stopped only by the sheer numbers of shrimp and their fresh water cousins’ craw-fish.

         The Shrimp claim to be the oldest land walkers pre dating crabs as the harbingers of life on earth (out of water) They are fearless and plan on ascension at all cost. They respect only the great fish of the deep. Who themselves seek no part in the war.

     Also on land since the end of the Ice Age there has been another beside the Lion. First their numbers were small. They rose from a part of Eurasia known now as Russia. They are the Bears, and their empire spread through Europe up into the Arctic. Where their cousins the Polar Bears had ruled since the Saber-toothed died out or migrated south to become the Pumas. The Bears ruled on a policy of diplomacy. In North America the partnered with Pumas to form an Empire that still exist today and is stronger than in Europe where Bears rule alone or Africa where Lions live Bear free. In India there are no Bears at all. In China though the Panda Bear does not rule, but is revered as a sage. And in Modern times Polar Bears have also chosen reverence over despotic Empires of fear.

  The wild card in the animal empire is Australia however. While Chickens have dominated most isolated islands, a few key spots in Europe, Asia, and the Americas. The shrimp and their land locked descendants’-the scorpions seem to rule the outback. Australian Hue-mans (descendants’ of Monkees) seem under the power of shrimp on the Barbie obviously a veiled reference to shrimps dominating blonde haired blonde-haired, blue-eyed dream Barbie. Chickens, Pumas, and even Bears have no power in the world largest prison camp. The only Bears there are small tree dwellers called Koalas. Though a giant rabbit roams the countryside no one is sure whose side it’s on. Much of Australia is populated with misbegotten Martian experiments like the Platypus, a creäture that is both beaver, and duck. Venusian kept their experiments on Madagascar off the coast of Africa.

      During this power struggle many other animals have been caught in the middle and used as tools by the four major players. Turtles, Elephants, Rhinos, and bats have all been instruments used by the Grizzlies, Pumas, shrimp, and chickens. Though Dogs and Seals have worked with hue-mans other animals such as horses and mules have been made slaves by mankind. One group has remained independent, avoiding control by any faction, maintaining their traditions and individuality; The Monkees. It was Monkee machinations that led to the Great War. It was beginning of the end of the animal conflict; “The Great Shrimp and chicken War of ’87.

       The Great War began in a time of upheaval within the animal kingdom. The Bear market had fallen and laid waste to the Puma Empire. Though the two beasts still ruled the kingdom, their failure to contain mankind’s path of destruction had opened a hole. A power vacuüm was created and the Shrimp and Chickens decided to fill it. Yet their reach far extended their grasp. The two newly formed factions could not work together

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