I sometimes think of little quotes and one liners. I write them down and they find their way into stories I write or song titles, or whatever. Sometimes though, they are so funny they make their way into my lexicon, and those around me. Tonight (Friday) however I came up with one that simply defies classification, one of those rare gems, that make you stop and remember that you live in your own little world. No one is with you that you didn’t let in. Sometimes we get to exist in the larger world. There are those of us who get let into the larger picture. Some don’t come back. The point is for the most part we each exist in our own little worlds. Tonight in my world the funniest thing you can say is-”There’s nothing; like a fat girl in a tiara!” You can take that how you want. It just came to me as I was taking out the trash at work tonight. I wasn’t thinking about fat girls or one might be wearing a tiara. I simply saw one walking around the parking lot. She was on her cell phone trying to convince who ever was on the other end to come and hang out with her. She was practically begging and I thought, why would she have to beg. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with a fat girl in a tiara.
Then of course I remembered what kind of superficial world we live in and how there probably where a lot of people who didn’t want to hang out with her. And Then I thought that’s stupid “There’s nothing like a fat girl in a tiara”. It was so funny it made me laugh out loud. She probably thought I was laughing at her (if she even heard me at all), but honestly. What could be more fun. I told my boss and he didn’t quite get it. I thought some more about it and decided you could add onto that statement with anything and make it swing a number of different ways. For example: “There’s nothing like a fat girl in a tiara-crying in her beer”, or There’s nothing like a fat girl in a tiara-sucking your dick” I mean the possibilities are endless. Then I thought about the fact that poor girl was probably celebrating her birthday and rather than having the tim of her life she was begging some douche bag to come hang out with her in front of her friends. He probably comes over in the dead of the night to get some when nobodies looking and go back to ignoring her in the light of day. Its sad, the way our society treats large women. Once upon a time we knew that big girls were important. Rubenesque women who could work the fields while the men were off to war, big child-bearing hips for stronger babies. I felt bad for that poor fat girl in her tiara. Maybe I’m just high. I smoke so little these days a few hits and I’m good for the train ride home. A few Guinness and I’m laughing at everybody. Just goes to show the good nature of some drugs. Some are meant to enhance your good mood. But, you should never take drugs to change your mood. They can’t! You should only get fucked up if you’re already feeling good. That will just boost the sensation. If you’re all down and sad getting fucked-up will simply enhance that as well. Sounds simple enough but I myself had to learn that the hard way. So these days I try to only get inebriated if I’m already having a good time, the alternative is…..