Life After 30
:Where are the drugs?
After 30 years you start to wake-up everyday and ask yourself; “What have I done?”, “What am I doing?”, “What did I do yesterday?”, “What am I doing tomorrow?”, and most importantly “What am I doing today?” Surely it’s more than just jerk off to internet porn and check your My Space. Certainly it’s more than get high and go to work, come home drink and pass out. You start looking for answers in everything. Suddenly the TV shows that happen to come on everyday, are sending you signs and signals. You receive hints and messages from magazines and billboards. The lunatics on the bus are making more sense.
I feel like I’m doing more work now. Getting more done than just “getting wasted”, or “hanging out”. Not that I don’t miss those times. They were great, and I learned a ton. I learned that I’m thirty-years-old, and I haven’t climbed a mountain. I haven’t discovered a cure for anything, or saved a single life. I haven’t written the great American novel, or started a business of any kind. I haven’t even recorded an album, at least not one that any large amount of people have heard. I haven’t changed anyone’s life or even created a life.
I have friends who’ve been married nearly ten years. I have friends working on their second or third child. I don’t necessarily want children or a wife (now)! I do however want something that will live on beyond me. Something alive by my very thoughts. Something that will show that I have been here and that I knew a few things at one time. So each day I get up and try to write or draw or do something that lets the world know that I was once alive. It sounds silly I know. I can’t help it. I never thought I would make it this far. Now I’ve been thirty for thirty days. The real question is…